Trees don’t absorb CO2 late evenings and at night, so it makes climate sense to move your barbecue from the evening to the morning, radical German environmentalists suggest.
Also don’t use charcoal or real meat! And check your lighter fluid to be sure it’s not wrecking out atmosphere.
Today’s article may have useful tips for readers who feel compelled to worry about everything. For the rest of us, it’ll be entertaining. So grab yourself a bag of popcorn as we take a short trip through the wacky world of radical environmentalists.
Today’s topic comes from Germany’s chapter of Friends of the Earth, BUND Hamburg: how to barbecue in a more environmentally friendly way.
Use the proper charcoal
First the BUND Hamburg advises that if you insist on using charcoal, use only the stuff from European hardwood forests – not from tropical forests – and make damn sure it’s FSC certified.
And if burning what used to be living trees is not an acceptable option, then the BUND Hamburg suggests using “olive stone briquettes, which are made from the waste product of the olive oil production process. “No tree has to be used for this type of charcoal.”
The BUND Hamburg also suggests using grapevines, or barbecue charcoal made of bamboo or coconut shells – ” currently available mainly in organic markets.”
Don’t ignite with cancer-causing lighter fluid
When it comes to lighting up the grill, the BUND warns: “Under no circumstances should the grill be ignited with chemical ignition aids, paper or pine cones, as this releases carcinogenic substances.” Instead you need to to use “pressed wood with oil or wax, brushwood or wood shavings”.
Never grill real meat, instead grill eggplants!
Now that the grill has been lit and is hot enough for cooking, the BUND writes that under no circumstance shall you throw real meat on it. It doesn’t matter if this is what grilling is all about! The BUND recommends vegan and vegetarian foods during barbecues. Example meat substitutes the BUND recommends are: “peppers filled with mozzarella, grilled and pickled eggplants or mushrooms with herb butter” are enough.
Avoiding meat and sausage “protects the environment and climate”. Every single kilogram of beef “requires 15,000 litres of water and emits almost 30 kilograms of carbon dioxide,” says the BUND. “In addition, farm animals are usually kept in huge stables under conditions that are not appropriate for their species.”
“Piles of rubbish”
Another reason barbecues are bad thing is because they create “large piles of rubbish”. But, if you cannot the resist the temptation of having a summertime barbecue, then please at least have the courtesy of using “reusable barbecue utensils instead of plastic dishes and disposable barbecues,” the BUND Hamburg says. Also avoid the use of aluminum!
Barbecuing in the evening is bad for the climate!
Another tip is provided by career environmental whiner Georg Etschelt, who cites tips from a Hamburg newspaper:
Perhaps in order to alleviate the summer barbecue problem a little, the main barbecue times could be shifted by decree from the evening – when most people are at home and do not want to be disturbed – to the early morning.”
“This would also make sense from a climate policy point of view. ‘Trees absorb CO2 during the day, so hobby cooks should only use the barbecue during the day,’ was recently reported in the Hamburger Abendblatt newspaper on a course titled ‘Green barbecue.’”
“‘In the dark, the trees emit CO2, which is why they cannot absorb the gases from the barbecue.’”